Disagree but commit

Daniele Catalanotto
Mar 18, 2022
A Service Design principle for better communication in the workplace.

I'm a child. My mom asks me to help. Yes, she is a great mom and teaches me that you have to help your family. But you know, as a kid, I sometimes don't like to help. Or I find the request stupid. So I say:

“Mom, I find this stupid, but I'll do it if you ask me to do it.”

That ensures that I can share my opinion and express how I feel to my mom. But at the same time, I respect her authority.

So, my mom answers:

“Thanks, honey, I know it costs you, but I'm glad you're helping me with this.”

What works for a child seems to work also in big corporations.

In the book "It Doesn't Have to Be Crazy at Work", the author describes the same idea as "Disagree and commit". There is even a Wikipedia page that describes the history of the idea. It seems that Jeff Bezos shared this idea in 2016 in a newsletter.

To make work relationships more honest and more productive:

Offer more possible answers than yes or no. For example, let people say: I agree, I disagree, I disagree and commit, I'll wait and see, etc.


Little side notes

  • This is the second draft of this Service Design Principle.
  • I was able to reduce the lengths of this principle by about 32.2% compared to the first version.
  • Once adapted, even more, this principle will be part of the book "Service Design Principles 201-300"
  • As always comments and feedback to improve this principle are welcome
  • If you have a personal story that goes in that direction it would also help if you share it 
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Patrick Marcelissen
May 9, 2022
It’s clear to read the message from this principle 
Jochen Bergmann
Oct 13, 2022
Related to this principle: The "Principle of collegiality" : If a governing body of which you're a member team has decided something by majority-vote, the minority supports it publicly. This seems to be a commonly applied principle in government and the judicial branch in Europe (e. g. the Swiss Federal Council), but I only find it explained as such in German-speaking literature. 
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Daniele Catalanotto
Oct 31, 2022
By the way, I've added it to my database of principles for the future :) Thanks again Jochen.
Daniele Catalanotto
Oct 31, 2022

The third draft of this Service Design Principle

As a child, my mom asks me to help (1). But you know, I sometimes don’t want to, or I find the request stupid. So I say:

“Mom, I find this stupid, but I’ll do it if you ask me to do it.”

That ensures I can share my opinion and express my feelings to my mom. But at the same time, I respect her authority.

So, my mom answers:

“Thanks, honey, I know it costs you, but I’m glad you’re helping me with this.”

What worked in my childhood also works at work.

In the book “It Doesn’t Have to Be Crazy at Work” (2), the author describes the same idea as “Disagree and commit”. It’s an old idea, as you can learn from Wikipedia (3). Jeff Bezos shared this idea already in 2016 in a newsletter (4).

What other options than “yes” and “no” can you offer to colleagues to answer your request for help?

Footnotes

(1) Yes, she is a great mom and teaches me that you have to help your family.

(2) Jason Frieda and David Heinemeier Hansson (2018). It Doesn't Have to Be Crazy at Work. Harper Business. Available at https://extra.swissinnovation.academy/JZ67 accessed 19 October 2022.

(3) (2022). Disagree and commit. Wikipedia. Available at https://extra.swissinnovation.academy/mXjr accessed 20 October 2022.

(4) Jeffrey P. Bezos (1997). 1997 Letter To Shareholders. Amazon.com. Available at https://extra.swissinnovation.academy/HNlm accessed 20 October 2022.

(5) For example, let people say: I agree, I disagree, I disagree and commit, I'll wait and see, etc.

Daniele’s notes

  • This is the third draft of this principle.
  • I’ve reduced the length of this principle by 22 % compared to the previous draft.
  • I’ve added a conclusion question to help the reader turn this principle into action.