In short: Setting a safe word to stop the interaction before getting deep or provocative announces a shift, gives control to the coachee, and makes the challenge lighter through humor.

In a coaching it happens that I use provocation or that we explore deep topics. When I notice that the conversation might benefit from one of these two approaches I often start with two onboarding elements:

1. An invitation: I ask if the person wishes to change approach and is okay with either getting more provocative or deep.

2. The safe word: I then say" let's use banana as our safe word". Whenever the learner or I wants to stop that aspect of the conversation we can use that word to show a switch is needed with a touch of humor.

This safe word technic has a few clear benefits:

• it's funny: it makes the whole conversation even if deep or provocative have a light touch.

• it gives control: it makes clear that the' student is in the driver seat and gives him a simple tool for it.

• it announces a shift: it makes clear that the conversation is shifting to a new place and gives the opportunity to both sides to set if they want to go for it and what are the ground rules

Backstage of this article

This article was illustrated and written by hand on a refurbished Remarkable II tablet. The handwritten text was converted into typed text using the connect service by Remarkable. If you are curious you can download the original note below.